Hurt so good

I think it's safe to say that every girl has a go-to song that they turn to time and time again when they are experiencing some sort of sadness related to a boy. My song is absolutely and without a double Bonnie Rait's I Can't Make You Love Me. I can think of (pause to count) at least four boys about whom I've gone through some sort of post-realization-that-things-aren't-going-to-work-out-the-way-I-hoped-they-would situation. Whenever I listen to this song I just want to cozy up on a couch and light a candle and just wallow in the sadness over what will never be. Bonnie just really nails it - the boy is never going to feel the same way about her as she does for him. Straight up. I just identify with this song too, because it's really hard for a control freak like myself to admit that this is just something that, no matter how hard I try to make it work to my advantage, it just ain't gonna!

My brother used to always make fun of me in highschool for listening to "downer" music. I would spend hours listening to Ben Harper's album Welcome to the Cruel World. Walk Away... Another Lonely Day... ( I just had to help myself to a little audio supplementation right then - I am now playing I Can't Make You Love Me and Walk Away, on repeat, one after the other) these songs were the soundtrack to my teenage brooding years. I always defended my use of the downer music, and I will continue to defend it till kingdom come. I mean, yes, one could argue that you shouldn't try to make yourself feel more sad than you already are, but then why is it OK to listen to uppity music to make ourselves even happier? It just hurts so good!

I'm just saying that I think break-up/sad songs serve a really important purpose. They remind us that we are not the only ones who have ever experienced sadness brought on by someone we really cared about. If Bonnie and Ben were able to first wallow and then eventually find the strength to buck up when they were good and ready, so can I, gosh darn it. Therefore, tonight I will sing along with Bonnie as I dramatically turn down my empty lonesome bed, and then come tomorrow I will greet the day with three cups of coffee and my current feel good song of the moment - Phoenix's Lisztomania. If I feel like it.