Blueberries for Billy the Birthday Boy!

My parents decided that they wanted to celebrate my Dad's birthday at home this year. I love big birthday parties at home because everyone is comfortable and can take their time to enjoy the meal - and in one way or another Henry is bound to make some sort of performance during the evening!









In all honesty, there are times as a baker that I definitely make shortcuts - such as using boxed cake mix and frosting - but I try to never do this when I'm making a cake/cupcakes for someone's birthday. For this cake - I wanted to go BIG and try some stuff I hadn't taken on all at once before. I decided I wanted to work with one of the most delicious fruits of the season blueberries! and pair them with some mouth watering lemon curd and vanilla frosting.

I baked the cake and make the lemon curd the night before my Dad's bday dinner. I baked the cake in a 13x9 inch pan, which I later split into two layers - resulting in a sort of rectangular shaped cake.

Preparing lemon curd is an arduous process - but it's SO worth it in the end! I used Alton Brown's recipe for lemon curd - and it proved to be fantastic. Whipping up a batch of lemon curd also serves as a great way to work your biceps - who knew! Here is a link to the recipe I used:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/lemon-curd-recipe/index.html


















After spreading the glistening (and did I mention mouth watering!) lemon curd on top of one of the halves, which would serve as the layer in the middle of the cake, I drizzled the cake with blueberries.

*side note - I often refer to the food items of which I cannot seem to get enough as CRACK. My cracks of the moment include sugar free Cherry Lime punch from Target, Snyders hard pretzels, rice cakes, diet coke made with Splenda, and of course, sour candy. Lemon curd is most definitely a form of crack whenever I've got some in the house, and I've often found myself sneaking back to my fridge for a healthy spoonful as if it were yogurt - it's hard to describe the sensation that takes over my body when I taste lemon curd. It's like this cool, refreshing wave runs through your body - it awakens your senses, cleanses your palette, and titillates every single taste bud in your mouth.

LOVE me some lemon curd!!












I then tackled the frosting. After perusing several frosting recipes, I decided to try this one on my own. Therefore I combined shortening, vanilla, powdered sugar, heavy cream and blue food coloring to make this bowl of sugary goodness:












*Next time I think I will use butter instead of shortening, as the dairy component of the butter lends to so much more flavor.















And the final product was this!

















In the end, I was pleased with the final result. The lemon curd and blueberries served as the perfect Summer duo and light way to end the meal.













Happy Birthday to my favorite Doddie! You are the most selfless, affable, and generous man I know - and I'm very proud to have you as my father!

llkw

table for one

I will be the first to acknowledge how truly lucky I am to be exactly where I am - both physically and emotionally - at this point in my life. I am not married, I don't have any kids, I live alone yet my parents are only an hour an a half away (the only thing that would make the situation even more ideal is if my brother was that close as well) so I am free to take this time to make things as much about me as I want to. In other words, I can pretty much make my decisions on my own without having to work another person into the equation. And it's great... for the most part.

You see my friends, I am a caretaker. I just really like doing things for other people - sometimes more than I do for myself. Don't get me wrong, I definitely treat myself well, but I would never, for instance, bake a cake for myself at 11:30 at night and then wake up at 6:30 to frost it before going to work. I really love cooking for other people, and in looking ahead to my adult/married life I have always envisioned myself living in a full, busy house with lots of food and comfort and love. I just love going out of my way to show people that I'm thinking of them, or to acknowledge their significance in my life.

So this is when the whole I-know-that-this-time-that-I'm-taking-for-myself-is-paving-the-way-for-a-better-future thing gets, well, old.

Desire to caretake - someone to take care of + impatience = One Antsy Allie.

That's the thing too - I know that I need to learn the importance of taking care of myself during this time, because I've spent a lot of time in my past tackling other people's issues instead of my own. This is caretaking gone awry - attempting to fix another person instead of focusing on what I need to fix in myself. So that's what I'm doing now, day in and day out - turning over stones, examining them, and then deciding whether or not I want to bring them home to put on display.

Thing is, I'm lonely. Not in a scary, might go off the deep end sort of way, just in a gee, it sure would be nice to cook two chicken breasts instead of one every once in awhile sort of way. I know it will come and that patience is a virtue, but I can't make up my mind as to whether or not I should be putting myself out there more, or if this is exactly where I should be - need to be - in order to be truly ready to bring another person into my life. Odds are, it's a combination of both.

It's been almost six months since my biggest relationship ended. When the breakup was official, I was dead set on committing to spending an entire year alone. Now I'm not so sure. I do know that as soon as someone of interest does enter into my life, a lot of this stuff that I'm rifling through will take a back seat. So for now I'm just going to keep going through the motions of this new life - keeping in mind that whether or not I am consciously trying, I am learning/adapting/evolving/opening up/learning to love myself a little bit more each day.